GFL – Page 0030
Grouping For Looks is a page-by-page retelling of the Looking For Group saga through the lens of a mirror universe where Cale is a goateed tyrant and Richard is a holy soul trying to set him on a good path.
EXT. BATTLEFIELD – DAY
Cale, Krunch, Benny, and Richard strike a pose, ready to do battle!
“Battle” entails taking on the army of mechanized gnomes AND the fierce troll forces.
Cale’s grip on his swords loosens a bit as he suffers through analysis paralysis.
Yellow energy penetrates Richard through his thick layer of clothing, thin layer of skin, and dusty layer of what’s left of his organs.
Krunch mounts Cale’s shoulder and points towards the troll casters.
Get the shamans.
The old trolls brace themselves.
Defend the shamans!
Cale cuts through the troll lines, paving his path with sinew and viscera. A shield wall forms, slowing Cale’s advance. As the elf pokes at the toes and shoulders of the troll shield bearers, Krunch digs his hooves into Cale’s shoulder.
The minitaur leaps, dashing from shield to shield like a contestant on the first stage of American Ninja Warrior. He swings from beard to beard, like one of the a contestant on one of the later stages of American Ninja Warrior. Launching himself forward, he rips rips out the adam’s apple of the shaman leader, like a contestant on the final stage of my American Ninja Warrior/Attack on Titan mash-up fanfic.
With the main shaman dead and the others distracted and scattering, Richard recovers.
Must… help… the shamans.
Are you serious?
They are tools… of a war craftsman. And only poor craftsman blames his tools.
Did the shamans fry your brains?
From the ether, Sooba responds to Richard’s call. She barrels through Cale’s trail of dead corpses, leaping off the shield wall like a contestant on American Ninja Warrior – Pets Edition.
A warrior’s greatest muscle is his heart. The heart’s greatest exercise is-
Sooba drops the severed head of a shaman at Richard’s feet.
It’s OK Sooba. He forgives you.
Original: LFG Page 30
First Grouping For Looks: GFL 001
Previous Grouping For Looks: GFL 029