GFL – Page 0012.5

Grouping For Looks is a page-by-page retelling of the Looking For Group saga through the lens of a mirror universe where Cale is a goateed tyrant and Richard is a holy soul trying to set him on a good path.

EXT. FOREST – DAY

Previously, on Grouping For Looks.

KRUNCH
You keep embarrassing company, Benn’Jonn.

BENNY
You’re right, of course, sir. But the ancient texts did say-

KRUNCH
I don’t need to hear about your nonsense academics, child.

RICHARD
Now who’s interrupting.

Krunch’s shoulders tighten and he forms two three-fingered fists as he glowers at the undead redeemer.

KRUNCH
I tire of your boldness, stranger.

Richard squares up to Krunch with balled fists of his own, towering over the two-foot hoofed warrior.

RICHARD
I’m. Richard!

And now, the thrilling conclusion!

A wing of legion dragons volleys fireballs from the sky above. Richard harnesses the chill of his undead soul and blows a freezing gale the dragon’s way. It’s harmless to the beast, but defuses their fiery breath like a fresh stick of Polar Ice Excel gum.

KRUNCH
Congratulations, you’re useless.

RICHARD
I’m Richard.

Krunch climbs up Cale’s cape and perches on the evil elf’s shoulder. When Cale reaches into his quiver to reload, Krunch jumps aboard the arrow. Cale sends the minitaur skyward before he even notices his arrow’s passenger.

Krunch dismounts the missile before impact, gripping the dragon’s eyelid. He pounds the dragon’s eye, then rips the eyelid off. Krunch glides down to safety as his victim blindly collides into the dragon next to him.

RICHARD
His eye-fighting is strange but… cruel.

BENNY
Krunch believes that “no low blows” only benefits the otherwise invulnerable.

Krunch lands and starts running away.

BENNY
He also believes some fights are unwinnable. Head for the mountains!

The group, such as it is, flees. Benny creates magical shields over her head and Krunch’s. Cale takes shots as he flees. Richard uses his frosty breeze to quicken their pace and freshen their scent. It’s Excelerating.

GFL Archives

Original: LFG Page 12

First Grouping For Looks: GFL 001

Previous Grouping For Looks: GFL 012