Yo Joe!*

It’s Friday afternoon, you know what that means: GI Joe O’Clock!

You do know that’s a Friday 4:00pm tradition, right? Or is it the latest item on a long list of things that are normal at Blind Ferret HQ but are strange, disturbing, or illegal anywhere else?

In case you don’t have it at your office/home/home office, GI Joe O’Clock is a designated time of the week where all work stops so the younger, less informed members of the office (in this case, everyone under 30) can ask questions of the wizened elders (basically me) about American’s daring, highly trained special mission force whose purpose is to defend human freedom against Cobra- a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world. I’m a bit of a nutjo– uh, I mean, an expert.

I… have a hidden agenda for bringing this up. Hasbro’s the latest company getting into on the shared cinematic universe band wagon, and like the GI Joe movies, people didn’t expect much. Until yesterday, when they released the line-up of talent working on their megafranchise, including Brain K Vaughn! What? Even the biggest GI Joe enthusiasts I know where at best cautiously optimistic before this announcement. Now even the smallest GI Joe enthusiasts I know are cautiously optimistic, and that’s as optimistic as GI Joe fans get.

I could talk at length about this and anything GI Joe related, but I’ll reserve that for the comments section below.

Speaking of comments, here are the Top Comments for early April!

NPC 20-22
TxSonofLiberty
Are you ready Orphans?
Um, Yeah, sure Captain?
I C’NNAE HEAR YE?
Aye Aye Kraken’s Dick Captain!
Oy!!!
Who gets eaten by a Kraken in fish bowl you see? Spongerob No-Pants
Whose buttocks is showing with no humility? Spongerob No-Pants
Who’s holding a spear along with some ugly krabby? Spongerob No-Pants
Who’s destined to be eaten quite quickly?
Spongerob No-Pants
Spongerob No-Pants
Spongerob No-Pants
SPONGEROB NO-PANTS

sigpig
Remember, she had the ORPHANS man the artillery. That would leave the majority of the crew free to “man” the pumps…

Drakkenfyre (responding to Godzfirefly’s comment about goldfish growing to fit their environment)
Wrong. This is a common misconception due to the poor treatment of goldfish. In reality goldfish are a species of carp that grows enormous and requires a ton of space to properly live (30 gallons for one standard goldfish, 20 gallons for each additional. Yes, this seems excessive. It’s not.) Goldish do not have a true stomach to store food and continually eat and poop. They are pooping machines. Fish waste breaks down into ammonia and nitrite. These are lethal to fish, and are handled by the nitrogen cycle and dilution.

The misconception comes into play because goldfish have been abused for decades and decades. They don’t “”grow to fit their body of water””, they’ll grow to their natural size (which is enormous) if given the room. You plop a goldfish in a million-gallon tank, it ain’t going to grow to be whale-sized. But if you place it in a smaller container, say like your commonly-seen bowl, it’s growth will be stunted and it will suffer a painful and shortened existence, in addition to breathing (and being burnt by) the ammonia created by its wastes due to a proper nitrogen cycle almost never being established in their small tanks (most people don’t even know what that is) and the small capacity limiting dilution factor.

A goldfish in a bowl is like a human living in a phone booth their entire lives, filled up to their waist in waste.

Source: I’m an aquarist.

LFG 972
Speedy Marsh
Too bad Dnah wasn’t around when they had to fight Assaracus. Dnah would’a spanked his butts.

alexandre
Dragon dude is like: It’s ok they don’t know my name too

Phaet
I actually remembered him. I still don’t remember the princess. I’m waiting for her to show up so I’d go all “ohhhh that guy”

NPC 21-1
Brendan Decicio
Nearly Headless Nick, meet Completely Headless Dick!

Argent
This series is really losing headway. I’m really not sure if I like where this comic be headed. The writers are assureheadly running out of ideas. Full bodied but lacking depth perception.

Dave
Richard’s body doing nice things. That’s a story line I want to see. Thanks NPC!

LFG 973
Katelynn MacLean
You were so close to the platypus.
So close, yet so far.

SuckerForCheesyRomance
I want 50 plush versions of these. 20 to hand out to friends and 30 for myself.

Mr. Random
Well they look like a hundred bucks.

NPC 21-2
P. Stein
BURN HIS CUTY FACE AND HIS BIG EYES TO HELL!!!
… So I forgot to have my morning coffee today.

Minando
One pile of smoldering ash later.
‘Well, that was unexpected.’
‘Why? Halfling fire-mages DO exist.’.

Flavourius
The first unfwooshed orphan.

TDA 113
DVS BSTrD
Oh no! Someone expressed a political opinion in my safe space! Now where will I go to burry my head in the sand and ignore important civil rights issues? I’m entitled to excuse myself from political discourse so I can mock the ‘extremes’ for not finding common ground. They’re all the same to me because, of course, I never actually discuss politics. So each side must be equally right and equally wrong.

Leo Bat
There should actually be bathrooms for dragons. It’s so unjust that dragonkins have to share the same bathroom with humankins.

LFG 974
Ivory Bill
Butt Wizard – Natimancer? Kolomancer?
Analmancer just sounds too invasive.

Duncan
I want to see an NPC story on Nose-Pick guy. Booger Eater The Legend Begins….

Alistair B. Milne
That purse is going to get awfully crowded!!!

Infamous Nefarious
Richard was right. There was nothing CALE could say that would get him off that chair.

NPC 21-3
Audrey Williams
Oh Lord… Where is this heading…

Audrey Williams (in response to Audrey Williams)
And I just made a pun without realizing it….

P. Stein
Is “”I don’t have a father”” the universal excuse?
The soup is too cold. But that’s okay, I don’t have a father.
Your boobs are hairy. But that’s okay, I don’t have a father.
You killed my dad. But that’s okay, I don’t have a – wait, what?

Balthazar
“I don’t have a father.”
And if that’s how you start your conversations with total strangers I doubt you have friends either, do you little Timmy?

Until next time, be excellent to each other,
-Costello

*And no, it’s not Go Joe. Go Joe is doing it wrong. It makes about 75% more sense, but this is a franchise where the bad guys are obsessed with snakes but Snake Eyes is a good guy.