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February 6, 2017 | Costello

Who Are You People?

I’ve been watching you all for years. Judging you based on the quality of your thoughts. You are my mice, and the LFG comments section is my maze. But now yours labels have fallen off and I can’t keep track of which of you ate the placebo and which are so full of experimental drugs it’s not even funny.

Put another way, I feel like I’ve taken a terrible blow to the head and my memory’s been scrambled. Now I wade lost through familiar waters of faces and voices. I know so many of you but have no idea who any of you are.

Put another, less terrifying way, ever since we switched comment platforms from Disqus to Facebook (which I feel like we’ve talked about ad nauseum and yet I still see people accusing us of deliberately, specifically trying to make their lives difficult), the switch from Disqus user names to real names has been jarring. It’s like I woke up one day and everyone I know’s face has been replaced with clay. I just want to squish your faces back into shape!

Shoot, I said this would be less terrifying…

I encourage anyone feels comfortable with it to post their old Disqus name in the comments below. I can’t be the only person who feels like Shipwreck in There’s No Place Like Springfield.

With the most disturbing few minutes of my childhood out of the way, here are the top comments for January 26th to February 3rd!

LFG 1056
Joy Trujillo
When a military unit gives orders like “prepare to form shield wall” part of me hopes that’s a code word for some cool giant robot, like Devastator or Voltron. I’m often disappointed.

Gaël Cassetari (in response to the absurd accusations that Benny’s top changed colours in one panel)
#alternativefacts The color didn’t change, it’s your eyes that adjust incorrectly. Same as the white and gold dress.

RD Williams
I love that their idea of a disquise for Cale is to injur him, and that he’s ok with this and indeed seemed to ask for it. I think maybe Richard’s rubbing off on him just a little.

Mike Fang
I’m just going to say it again, how does NOBODY recognize Benny? It’s been established that whatever her race is, it’s uncommon, and she was part of the kingdom’s leadership at one point. So, either they’re leading her into a trap, or these people have short memory spans.

NPC 26-17
Speedy Marsh
I dunno. If no one did the close-the-dead-guy’s-eyes-by-waving-a-hand-over-his-face thing, he still might win the staring contest posthumously.
I never got how that thing with the eyelids works. I mean, besides the fact that half the time, they don’t even touch the dead person’s face, I’d think that if they didn’t do it within minutes of death, the eyes would dry out to the point that they’d be glued to the eyelids. Can any hunters, farmers, medical examiners, or serial killers out there confirm that? (I’m not volunteering to be a test subject, by the way)

Facundo Pepe Schell (in response to checking the blog to find out why we switched from Disqus to Facebook)
But, I have to click another link, and reeeead… XD

Alexandre Cauchon
Kind of sad when the people who were told to beat up Cale for all his childhood are better friend than the group Cale is with right now. Also like how Notan and mohawk’s look when does’T get the challenge was rethorical

LFG 1057
Alexandre Cauchon
In the future, you stop blaming me each time one of your relative dies, intuition tells me this is gonna be valuable soon

Joy Trujillo
Seriously Cale, this isn’t something you should have to be axed & shoved into a dirty wheelbarrow to learn.

Speedy Marsh
She’s just even tempered, this page. The Blind Ferrets who chronicled this story never got the colors wrong. Her bra just changes color with her mood.
Mood bras never became popular here, because women don’t wanna give away their moods so easily, by exhibiting them in Technicolor, right on the spots where men’s eyes naturally come to rest. Benny doesn’t have to worry about that, though, because Cale couldn’t read her moods, even if she had them emblazoned on her chest in every language known to Elf, including Braille.

Audrey Bruneel
No matter which MMO you’re in.. never anger your healer.. xD

NPC 26-18
Justin Murray
Could be weirder. You could have run across Hiram S. Town, a Senator from Wisconsin from 1870 to 1871. He did own a general store, which would have provisions for a reasonable price.

Tue Elung-Jensen
I wish these stories crossed the regular story, so what these guys did would explain stuff happening off screen in the other. The only reason they don´t run into each other is “plot”.

Jack Mask
That’s a perfectly normal town. The walls are just there to keep out the Titans.

TDA 155
Michelle Zanette Sejr Louring
Well, good thing most Americans can’t find Denmark on a map

Jimmy Andhrímnir Plante
Well, the U.S. seems to want to bomb anything they percieve as a threat. I’d be honored! Can I move to Denmark? I can cook and don’t take much space!

Mikkel Werner Larsen
I dare you, we will come after you with wooden boats and axes. You will never expect the invasion.

LFG 1058
Mark Librizzi
I’m betting “beautiful” isn’t going to be what anyone expects.I’m guessing full blown cow woman. After all, Benny grew up with them, she probably thinks that is the highest example of physical beauty

Betty Anne
Would you rather I just said that “I’d smash that” or whatever the eff doesn’t count as “lame-ass” approval of her appearance?
Because, I’d smash that.

Therese Chito Mastini
I don’t normally use memes in conversations, but: that face when your girlfriend gets incinerated in front of you.

NPC 26-19
Andreas Gabler
Above panel seems to be set right after the attack on the Legaran outpost, beginning on page 122 – it’s the same castle in the woods and the soldier wears an Legaran armor. So the two beats must have been Krunch and Benny.

Marietta McCoy
“Whoa, Dude! You’ve had it bad… Why don’t I buy you a drink and you can tell me all about it?”
“… Yeah, sure. Why not?”

Minh Duong
2 Separate beast, set on fire and still alive? I’d say that he’s a great soldier! Bit of an unlucky b@stard, but still a great soldier.

Nick Lancial
well at least he literally “lived and learned” after that lol….not alot of people can say that lol
That’s it for another week of Top Comments. Before I go, you may have noticed I uncharacteristically used the same avatar as last week’s Top Comments (and assuming “you may have noticed,” I give away that I think you all read and judge my comments as diligently as I read and judge yours). That’s because Lar is still creating custom pony avatars for anyone who donates $40 to the MS Society of Canada (in a campaign I like to call Pony Up Against MS). Not only can you customize your Facebook avatar, but now you’ll have a custom avatar for our comments section as well!

Until next time, be excellent to each other.
-Costello