SDCC Of The Future

Yes, San Diego Comic Con is once again behind us. Thanks to everyone that dropped by the booth and tried to steal Sohmer’s knife. What the title refers to is how I like to reflect on what my teenage self would think of the current state of nerd culture this time every year.

Teenage me dreamed of good super hero movies. There may have been more super hero movies in the 90s than you remember, but they were either progressively worse Batman movies (citation, citation, citation), movies that are better remembered than revisited (citation, citation), and a weirdly high number of parodies of the super hero genre (citation, citation, citation).

I’m sure teenage me would be jealous of how spoiled we are for choice, but also baffled about by what’s popular. Being from a decade where Marvel’s only cinematic offering is Blade, teenage me would raise an eyebrow that people are more excited about Thor 3 than the first Justice League. That Hulk is in Thor 3 for complicated distribution rights reasons that we’re all somehow aware of, and that people are debating whether Aquaman or Wonder Woman will be the best part of Justice League. That we’ve already had five other super hero movies this year, including an R-rated drama and a 2 hour commercial for Legos, both of which were critically acclaimed.

How do I explain to a version of me that clings to every rumour in Wizard magazine’s Hollywood Heroes column that there’s been speculation that the super hero genre is winding down even though we’re halfway through the year and already 5 of the 10 highest grossing films of the year have been super hero movies? That we know Marvel’s and DC’s plans through 2020. That we will be getting both a Captain Marvel and a SHAZAM movie in 2019 because Captain Marvel supremacy remains the longest running micro-aggression based rivalry between the two biggest publishers in comics?

Despite how shocking the current state of super hero movies might be to teenage me, at least one thing makes sense: Aunt May is smoking hot.

Speaking of hot, here are the top comments for July 3rd to July 14th, 2017

LFG 1101
Cameron Seipel
Okay, at this point I’m starting to think page 774 was onto something. The cursed(?) warlock seems to be a better match personality and inteligegence-wise for the Orc (no corrections, I’m begging you) than Cale ever was.

Xavia Carbine
Is pella flirting with one of the eye-things? Cuz… that’s exactly what it looks like. Can’t blame them for checking her out with any of thier eyes though. I mean common- who wouldn’t

Alexandre Cauchon
Cale just go home, it’s a burned ruin but that’ll give you something constructive to do

Justin Ross
It’s not a purse, it’s a “dickbag”

TDA 177
Minh Duong
How about we replace “Poke” with “Actually know”?

Alexandre Cauchon
You haven’t immolate anyone in twenty weeks, would you like to change that

Brian Kasson Dimatteo
Who keeps feeding these pigeons
the ones hanging round my door
Some one ought to put out some poison
so they don’t come around no more
They work their little feet down to nothing
’cause they’re too damn lazy to fly
I’ll feed them on a poisonous muffin
Singin’ “”Die little pigeons, Die””

Some folks think pigeons are pertty
And sing like an angel sings
I think that pigeons are dirty
Nasty little rats with wings

Who keeps feeding these pigeons
the ones hanging round my door
Some one ought to put out some poison
so they don’t come around no more
They work their little feet down to nothing
’cause they’re too damn lazy to fly
I’ll feed them on a poisonous muffin
Singin’ “”Die little pigeons, Die””

Some folks think pigeons are pertty
And sing like and angel sings
I think that pigeons are dirty
Nasty little rats with wings

LFG 1102
Marcus Pumper
Cale: I don’t understand why that didn’t work.
Richard (dressed like a director): Because you got the dance fight wrong. It’s kick, kick, stab, pirouette, thrust not kick, kick, lunge, twirl, pelvic thrust.

Chad Cranmer
reminds me of the old loony tunes cartoons wher Daffy wold be busting his ass on stage and get crickets then Bugs would show his face and get wild applause

Jeremy Garrett
I feel dumb… It took me a while to realize that this was a Hamliton reference… I would bet money that they’ve been saving this one up for nearly a year. On the subject of Hamilton, is anyone else a bit weirded out by the idea of a London production of Hamilton?

LFG 1103
Alexandre Cauchon
Best way to stop recurring villains is to keep their corpses close to you at all time, I mean the princess didn’t learn that lesson

John Daly
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, and by affairs, we mean the dragon’s chew toy, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

Sam Signorelli
Surprsed there wasn’t a Bullwinkle joke in there!

TDA 178
Mike Fang
The most unsettling part is you can’t be sure if he’s talking about himself or some victim.

Kai Lowell
And we all know Richard is nothing if not perfectly composed.

Russell Levine
I’m sure smell-o-vision would be pure horror.

Minh Duong
Nothing a little Formaldehyde can’t fix.

LFG 1104
Lisa Talbot-Smith
Shouldn’t he only have four eyes so that he can make the ‘it has been fourseen’ joke?

Garrett Jackson
Get in the fuckin bag nebby! 😛

Adrian Meredith
And Lo, as it is written, so it shall be, that if I am in that bag I will not help thee as much as if I were free.

Greg Steele
Don’t Bag me, Bro.

Now you know,
Costello

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