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May 1, 2017 | Costello

C2E2: A Con of Wind and Firetrucks

Two weekends ago, Blind Ferret attended C2E2 for the first time in several years, and I think we all agree that the Windy City has a firetruck problem. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so noticeable if our pilot hadn’t made the following announcement on landing: “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re just waiting for a firetruck to move so we can pull up to our terminal.”

From there it felt like a day didn’t go by without a firetruck crossing our paths, lights blaring. Also, we were given a warning from the fire marshal that our booth was a fire hazard. Did Chicago have some great fire that I’m not aware of that left them paranoid? We never saw a single fire, by the way, maybe because Chicago FD was super on top of things.

Speaking of fire, C2E2 cosplayers brought their A-game. Not everyone at Blind Ferret gets cosplay,  but I think it’s a great way to express passion, creativity, and skill. Some random C2E2 cosplay thoughts:

  • The most popular costume was Eleven from Stranger Things. I was surprised how many of the Stranger Things cosplayers were age-appropriate. I had assumed it was a show staring kids but watched by adults;
  • A lot of Rey and X-23 kids as well;
  • Harley Quinn is still popular, but in the past there was more variety to the Harley costumes. This year, movie Harley was queen;
  • Little Mac continues to be a weirdly popular costume, with bonus points going to a pair that was dressed as Little Mac in his snowsuit alongside his coach;
  • Other popular costumes: Negan, Mabel and Dipper Pines, Wonder Woman, Batman, Logan, and, of course, Deadpool.
  • Steampunk seems on its way down, Pin-Up is on its way up;
  • Composite Wayne/Garth was a thing;
  • I finally saw a Rorschach with a mask that changes ink blots. The best I could figure, his mask was made with some kind of Hypercolor technology so his warm breath changed the pattern. I just don’t understand why every shape looked like my grade school bully;
  • A family dressed as spot-on Jetsons, right down to the appropriate ages and heights, was the best possible execution of something I never thought I’d see;
  • In the “is this cosplay?” category, someone went as Aku from the pecs up by building a giant wooden Aku around them. It wasn’t articulated and probably couldn’t really move. They basically made an Aku clubhouse, but what an Aku clubhouse!
  • A Gwenpool with a holstered pistol tattooed on her leg was particularly entertaining;
  • My favourite simple costume was a dude with a minifence over his face cosplaying Wilson from Home Improvement.

On top of seeing a lot of interesting costumes, it was great meeting a bunch of Blind Ferret fans. But you know what I heard too often? “I didn’t know you’d be here”. If you are planning on attending a major convention this summer and would like to know if we’ll be there, check the appearances listing on the front page! Don’t be an “I didn’t know you’d be here”.

Speaking of things our fans say, here are the top comments for April 17th to April 28th, starting, predictably, with an extended MC Hammer parody.

LFG 1079
Jerome Davis
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
My, my, my, my hammer hits you so hard
Makes you say, “Oh no Lord,
The Wee King is smashing free,
Warlock Richard from his destiny.”
It feels bad, things are getting messier
If the Warlock gets loosed on Kethenecia
Causes fear which we can’t fake
And that is why, we can’t let them break
We telling you Chuck (You can’t break that)
Yeah, we know he’s unliving living, so (You can’t break that)
Listen up, your little highness (You can’t break that)
Come on, can’t you hear us? (You can’t break that)
A brother dragon, in a a purse
Your personal parody, in total verse
So get Scooter, outta your bag
And forget your new dad, likes to dress in drag
While we’re at it, stay there
So we can avoid Richard, burning down a daycare
Not that, not that
Frozen in crystal, that we don’t want to crack
Please stop, for all our sake
Cause that is a prison, you can’t break
Please, we told you (You can’t break that)
Why’re you still hammering? (You can’t break that)
Someone call for Princess Leena (You can’t break that)
We got your Witch, and your effeminite elf
Just stop what you’re doing, for everyone’s health
We fear
You keep on Hammering and we’ll be incinerated here
Get out your Chacha, the Nanny,
Stop swinging that hammer at Dick’s old fanny
Oh please, won’t you learn
We all want to live and don’t want to burn
Everywhere, Oh shit
Please just stop, don’t hit
This really bites you know…
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
Don’t Break it down!
Stop, not Hammer time!
Just go, home and to bed
If you don’t quitt with the blows, then we’re all definitely dead
So be a toddler, chew your nails
Play paddy cake, and lick your own scales.
You’re still innocent, not a sinner
Just go back to feeding crooks to your brothers for dinner
Listen, to our rap
No more, just stop, don’t tap, tap, tap, tap
No… (You can’t break that)
Please, Chuck (You can’t break that)
You better take a nap, boy, because, please, you can’t (You can’t break that)
Sound the alarm, Dick’s almost free
Don’t break him out!
Stop, not Hammer time!
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
Don’t break him out!
Stop, not Hammer time!
Every time he battles
No one can see his face
When Bearing Baby Bear Arms, or wielding a Fwishsticked Bace
Now we all begged for no more Fwoosh
Princess Leena made him to a statue, but we still see his Toosh,
He’s blasted every race, from Demon Imps to the Fae
It’s “Wee King, NO Wee King, Oh Please Wee King, Go Wee King”
please stop, and rest, or go and play
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that
You can’t break that

Bradley Hakenson
If I had a hammer
I’d hammer in the morning
I’d hammer in the evening
All over Richard’s ass
I’d hammer out danger
I’d hammer out a warning
I’d hammer out love between
My brothers and my sisters
All over Richard’s ass, uh

Marietta McCoy
Don’t tap his butt.
His really shiny butt.
I just don’t think it understands.
‘Cause if you tap his butt
His really shiny butt
It might crack up and kill this man.

Maire Phelan
Such a devious little baby. All children should aspire to be like Charles. Controlling demon forces in a handbag and using rotting heads as footstools.

TDA 166
Garry Cylon
… and thus we have the birth of Tiny Dick. Like many other religous stories, some doubt it as the truth, but we know and believe…. (A sample from the 2nd coming of HIM, the authorised biography, 13th edition, 2030)

Minh Duong
Let there be blight!

Kai Lowell
I see the giraffe is just as shocked as we are.

Kieran Green
I… just… really did not need to see that first thing in the morning. Where’s the f^$#@!!ing brain bleach?

LFG 1080
Chris Hucklebridge
The look on Charles’ face says “Now, if I hit the finger just right, he will scream in pain, and break the crystal himself, saving me all the work”.

Stan Jones
At least he started with the finger before tapping that ass.
I’m so so sorry >.<

Gabriel Pseudônimo
I was just casually pressing the right key, blazing through the comics(first-timer), and then I press it and it doesn’t work. Ok, I just F5 the page. I do it again and it doesn’t work, then I get ready to click the next page button, but only then I realize that there is no forward button.
O well.
This comic is great.

LFG 1081
Speedy Marsh
Four out of five severed heads think Richard is hilarious.

Jonathan Bell
There needs to be a NPC to explain why the one severed head looks happy, even relieved, to be executed. How bad was this guys life that being executed was a joyful event?

Maire Phelan
Well, I gotta admit, Richard’s ventriloquism is unparalleled. I’ve seen talking to the hand, but never before had I witnessed talking through the hand.

Holli Rider
When the font used makes a lot of readers misread flicking.
Which the misread makes it funnier.

TDA 167
Garry Cylon
Meglomaniac, tick.
Psycopathic tendancies, tick.
Prone to sudden fits of homicidal rage, tick.
Killed thousands, tick.
Profoundly strange fashion sense, tick.
Why, the resemblances are astounding

Xavia Carbine
Still a better love story than twilight.
Although if we’re following BvS storyline here, Kimmy here will die at the hands of a mutual enemy (trump?) and become resurrected eventually. Actually… this sounds a bit too plausible for my liking….

Minh Duong
Warning to both: Familial relations hasn’t stopped him before…..

LFG 1082
Sam Ryan
Judging from that kid’s face I highly doubt he’ll be innocent enough for ‘fwoosh’ing much longer.

Doug Byrd
Okay so, he gets a bloosh from saving the guilty, but can only do it once per person. He gets a fwoosh for saving the innocent, and can save the innocent unlimited times

Mike Fang
Officer Club really shouldn’t be standing there with a dumb ass look of confusion on his face…then again, he may very well put his face right up to Richard’s finger and start poking at it.


Wow, three musical parodies on the same page. Our fans, ladies and gentlemen.

Now you know,