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September 19, 2016 | Costello

Gnome Run!

I’ve been busy developing new projects for the remainder of the year and early 2017, including two legit dream products that I am having way too much fun working on (you’ll definitely hear more about these when the time is right), but I’m never too busy to read your comments and then judge them and by association, you.

I don’t always do this, but sometimes a top comment is so top, it gets a special shout out. On LFG page 1018Justin Davidson described the gnome ammunition as “Gnoming Missiles.” Sometimes a top comment is a Speedy Marsh-esq dissertation. Sometimes, it’s two words of compounded wit.  Unless I’m mistaken, it’s his first top comment entry, too. I look forward to your next moment of genius, Justin. If this is your only entry on the list, consider “Gnoming Missiles” your Catcher In The Rye.

Let’s see who else had their first comment make the cut in your top comments for September 5th to September 16th!

LFG 1015
safyrejet
I’m rather impressed. The Knight holding that elf on a stick like that, not even wobbling. A stick that long has quite a moment arm force with Cale’s weight on the end. Even with a light weight like Cale. These Knights have some serious upper body strength.
Biólogo Anónimo
Everybody knows weapons disappear when not in combat, it’s the law of physics or some shit.
Audrey Williams
The NPC was foreshadowing, wasn’t it?

NPC 23-04
Shadow
Mother f*cking nipple nations, that thing is huge!
KILL IT WITH FIRE BEFORE IT TURNS INTO MOTHRA’S FABULOUS COUSIN!!!
DVS BSTrD
Elf “Am I drugs?”
Butterfly “Yes you are, but that really is Metallica.”
Speedy Marsh
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
“You are what you eat.”
Yo, book! I thought I was lucky, when I found two fortunes in one fortune cookie.
Before, I was lacking insight. Now, I’m lacking in sight.
Memnar
I didn’t know if it was real, so I tried to poke it with a stick to see. “That isn’t a stick, it is a two by four.” “I swear, I didn’t mean to kill it! It was an accident! I was just trying to pet it!” “With a two by four?”

TDA 134
Speedy Marsh
“Lieutenant Tweety Bird! We’re getting murdered out here!”
“Retweet! Retweet!”
Minando
If they catch you, can I have your laptop?
Robert Clinton Tucker
Twitter, do not verify him. Do not give him the trolling power!

LFG 1016
Infamous Nefarious
It’s pointless…. Dnah IS the upper hand.
Mr. Shaz
The rider’s arm strength aside, let’s hear it for the Kethenecian lance forgers whose pole arms don’t bend or break even under extreme physical stress.
I’d also like to recognize that Cale is being bad ass in this scene. He is impaled through “”mostly muscle””, which means he is holding his whole body weight on the lance, without sliding much, with one hand. And don’t overlook that he’s enduring all the pain of being flung about by a horse rider while impaled. Perhaps he’s not as vulnerable as he seems. Indeed, if he can hold on long enough to get footing and draw one sword, he’s at close enough range to send a Knight on his Way.
Finally, While Cale is doing his typical clueless schtick, he’s also not randomly leaping into the fray without getting the whole story. That’s progress!
Well done, Cale! Looking forward to the awesome angry eyes battle pose at the end of this chapter.
Zac West
I love how the guy holding Cale is like, “You know what? Imma see if I cant go two for two.”

NPC 23-05
MegaduceFlare
And just “off camera”:
Other Soldier 1: “Hey, look at Ralph, he’s totally tripping balls right now!”
Other Soldier 2: “I know right? What a lightweight.”
Achille Talon
NOBODY expects the Spanish Butterfly’s teeth.
Joke aside, the Elf does look signficantly cuter. Though I still wonder why he’s purple.
Memnar
You just said it was like a representation of your soul, and you were just killing people in battle earlier in the day. You really should have realized it would have a violent side, then. Why does it seem so hard for fictional characters to put two and two together like that? I have noticed situations like that in a lot of places lately.
(Not to mention that everything in his universe seems to be much more violent and evil than it looks at first, even little boys and squirrels. Heck even “”innocent”” slaves turn out to be evil bankers. Seriously, is nothing in this universe actually even remotely harmless or innocent?)

LFG 1017
Kai Kohaku
Is…is Dnah making himself into a slingshot?
Josh
Huh.. I think they made this one because of the comments..
Raphael Silva
Quick, stranger, conjure some bird of booms for the most epic angry birds game ever!

NPC 23-06
DVS BSTrD
♫ Butterfly In the skyyyyyyyyyy ♫
♫ Says all of your friends, must diiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee ♫
Dwarfurious
Never trust elves.
alexandre
Butterflies! Elves natural enemy
everyone else just became enemies by talking to them

TDA 135
Speedy Marsh
When Calvin turned 18, He got arrested and sent to prison for whipping out his “Tiny Dick” and peeing on countless pickup trucks. When the nickname stuck, he turned to the dark arts, and vowed revenge on every guard and parentless inmate who called him by the size of his manhood. He also plotted vengeance against the orphan kid who had framed him.
Hobbes, having spent 18 years striving to be a good role model, was suddenly faced with his own failure. He had always kept his dark stripes in check with the warmth and goodness he expressed, as an example for Calvin. With Calvin no longer in the picture, Hobbes discovered that a tiger actually can change his stripes. His dark stripes spread, till they totally enveloped him.
Hobbes realized that he now hated his name, so he decided to call himself “So Bad”. He left on a journey of self discovery, but through some cruel twist of fate, he ended up as the guardian for another blonde brat. The kid couldn’t pronounce “So Bad”. It always came out as “Sooba”.
After raising a second brat to adulthood, Sooba realized that it was his mothering instinct that had caused him to be so protective of the two lads. When “”Tiny Dick”” was released from jail, Sooba went to the prison-trained warlock for a gender reassignment spell. Though she never told him that she used to be Hobbes, and he never told her that he used to be Calvin, the two somehow renewed their lifelong friendship
RMycroft
Tiny Dick, Calvin balls.

LFG 1018
Justin Davidson
I get it now. “Gnoming Missiles”
TxSonofLiberty
Styx and Gnomes, may break your bones, but Dnah’s signed words will never hurt me.
Gandalf’s Tailor
He really Styx it to ’em.
Stormpsych
Sign of the Horns! This is REAL METAL!

NPC 23-07
wowfood
Don’t let the colours fool you, tis night, and that is no butterfly.
It’s the Moth of Malevolence.
Price Hamilton
Waiting for the obligatory scene where he is standing in a puddle of his own urine so that we can all giggle at the Centa-peed pun. Bahahahahahaha
gonsi
Guess he needs smoothness for tights.
Not so much for upper armor

 

Until next time, be excellent to each other!
Costello